Saturday, December 25, 2004

The Beauty of Law School

Like a thoroughbred NLS-ite, let me begin with a disclaimer.
Disclaimer: The following are mere expressions of the author's opinion. They may or may not represent the facts in an entirely objective perspective. In any case, the author is not responsible for any nervous shock, heart attacks or any other adverse reactions on the mind or body of the reader that may be caused upon reading the following.

With that out of the way, let me lay out the gist of the blog. I seek to identify some unique characteristics of lawschoolites which set them apart from the rest and make them the best in the country.....

1. A strict observance of deadlines: This is perhaps the single biggest factor responsible for the success of NLS. We are adept at doing anything at (precisely) the deadline. Be it arriving in class on time for the second call of attendance, arriving at the exam hall just when the second bell rings, finishing an answer paper exactly when the teacher walks up to the desk and gives a glare at you, submitting projects at 5 pm on the last-last day, studying for exams exactly 12 hours before the exam is to be held (and making outstanding use of the 12 hours), arriving at the railway station just when the signal turns green, arriving at meetings just when the convenor is about to begin... Well the list is endless. I'm sure you must have had an idea of what I'm trying to say... You haven't? Oh then you are obviously not from NLS.....

2. Efficiency, not quality: Ever noticed how many people have articles published in the average journals and good national journals, but how few (less than that even) have something published in international journals? I take it as a symptom of another characteristic of law school - an ethic of efficiency, not of out-and-out quality. Yes, efficiency is not possible without a minimum level of quality - but we have learnt over the years that the bare minimum level of quality which is necessary to maximise efficiency is what it takes to be succesful in life as a lawyer. That's why we shine in law firms and corporate houses and even in the courts. I personally pride myself at working myself to the exact extent required, but obviously I have not perfected the system. My good friend Ajay points out a few people who have - and guess what - they are all G5....

3. Make best use of class hours: A lawschoolite soon learns that class hours are invaluable to life in law school. That is the only time when we are faced by inefficiency in the place - in the form of teachers. But who cares? Its time to recharge one's batteries. Yaaawn..... Its the best place in the world to take a nap. NLS is perhaps the only college in the world which gives people marks to come and sleep in the designated place known as 'classroom'. Make use of others' inefficiency by maximising your own - sleep through class and be fresh for a late night. It's only the highly insecure or highly jealous teachers who insist on us staying awake. It's only the rarer-than-platinum teachers like Pillai who arrest sleep from our souls and rivet our attentions to the topic being discussed. Yeah, man - class hours ought to be made best use of.

3a. Make best use of class hours II: A derivative of the above. If the teacher is one who gets panicky if you sleep through his/her class, then just give your attendance and walk out of class. This can be achieved in two ways: either sneak out when the teacher's back is turned or brazenly walk out in front of him/her. The risk is obvious in the second method, but it gives a moral satisfaction of having stormed out of a particularly useless monologue. What do we do after walking out? If one lives in Himalaya hostel or is a girl, then we simply walk back to the hostel room and sleep off the hour tucked underneath our comfortable sheets. If not, then we walk to the common room and make optimum use of the sofa...

4. Unwind as often as possible: This is absolutely necessary when all our efforts are directed at efficiency. In fact, its a key ingredient of our efficiency process. Chill out if there's no work to be done or the deadline is a week or so away. Its my favourite mantra - chill. It really helps. It gives enormous scope to explore the world, to read books, to watch cricket, to play computer games - in short, to live life.

At the end of a rather long blog, I must say that there are two kinds of deviants from the above system. The first are those who have misunderstood the system and underestimated the level of quality required for maximum efficiency. They soon slip into junior years, and invariably into the sinister world of drink and drugs (sad, but true... the two D vices are the banes of a section of law school). The other category is at the opposite end of the spectrum. They disregard the existence of the efficiency system. They work their u-know-what off day in and day out, obtain a 6+ CGPA, don't know the spelling of "chill out" and believe that work is the only worthwhile occupation of a human being. They end up enjoying stunning academic success, but at the end of the day, they get the same pay packets as the rest of us, maybe only slightly better.... So who wins?

As for me, I am a mere journeyman. The law school equivalent of Geoff Boycott's "dibbly dobbly bowlers" - neither the shining star of academics, nor the lowly dopey. I manage. That's what is important....

Brand New Day

Hey all,
Surprised to find only one blog? Well, I've decided to start afresh. There have been some mistakes made along the road. Commentators on my blog (known as the "wellwishers", ironically) have become too malicious and comments have begun to leave more than a bad taste in the mouth. I have learnt my lesson the hard way. Let me also learn from the good bloggers like Vish and Praddy to keep personal life out of something like this. Well, that's that then. It's a brand new day, and a brand new blog....