Bangalore is remarkable for its constant evolution (read as devolution) and its innovative spirit in finding new problems to dog its citizens. Like any big metropolis in the world, it has its massive monstrosities called malls, its over-hyped and overpriced "hep" shopping areas, its decadent night life and its milling millions, but there aer some things which are unique to Namma Bengaluru.
A classic example was on display on (where else?) BTM main road. A recent survey had shown that although techies (software professionals and other high-tech engineers) form only a tenth of Bangalore's workforce, they contribute to more than three-quarters of its vehicles. And since BTM main road is one of two roads that lead to Electronic City (I seriously envy Rome, as it is never short of roads leading to it, meaning there are no traffic jams), there are about a lakh or so vehicles in a feverish rush to the hallowed acres of Electronic City within the span of an hour. In such a situation, every inch of road gained is a victory for any motorist over his rivals. As is the case in any battle, there are those that are cleverer than the others, and there are those that are more resourceful than the others. Therefore, it didn't take much time for a clever techie (what an oxymoron!!) to come to the conclusion that since there are more vehicles than pedestrians on the road, the former must have preferential rights over the footpath too. So he heaved his two-wheeler onto the footpath, a move which earned him the respect and admiration of his fellow motorists and the curses of the pedestrians, and rode away at the speed of 20 kilometres an hour, at least ten times faster than his rivals on the road. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. The other motorists were not far behind in emulating the pioneer, and that day, those who went to office by car had a tough time explaining why they were held up by the traffic while others (read as the followers of our pioneer's example) made it in time.
Fast forward to the next morning. The Pioneer and his followers took their usual route up the footpath. The driver of a sand-laden lorry had a flash of inspiration. (The next time scientists record a gorilla or a chimpanzee getting a brainwave, I must make it a point to inform them that the aforesaid driver had achieved the same result in out-of-laboratory conditions.) He thought, "Arrey! When these puny motorbikes can go so fast on the footpath, what is there to prevent my huge lorry from doing the same? Who do these dwarfs think they are? I'll show them...." That was the end of that. What a sight it was for jobless onlookers like me!! There was this huge, heavily laden lorry trying to waltz onto the footpath. An elephant might have given us a breathtaking ballet performance, but this lorry was definitely out of its depths here. The end result? The Pioneer and his merry band of followers were stopped in their tracks. The pedestrians, usually the coolest ones in a traffic jam because of their supreme mobility, were stuck too. The white and khaki figure of the traffic constable arrived on the scene, and apart from giving a lesson on swear words in Kannada, he could do nothing else.
The Day of the Eternal Human Jam had dawned....
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
An Unsolved Mystery
Much to the chargin of a large percentage of the people I know, it has never failed to mystify me as to how computer engineering or software engineering or whatever else it's called can ever be a career. I mean, come on man, HOW can one spend one's whole life in front of a computer and typing in nonsense to make a machine do something for you? If English is considered as a complex language with innumerable oddities, then I wonder what we can call even the simplest computer programming "language".... I am more shocked when I come to realise that I too had fallen into this mental madness and misconception that computer engieering is the greatest career in the world, a sure-shot way to enter George W. Bush territory. I used to believe that I would one day enter an ivy-league college and key in a program that would revolutionise the software industry... The infinitely useful gift of hindsight has helped one word to come to my lips - outrageous!! Two weeks of a non-engineering course put my mind back on track, returned me to this Earth, restored sanity in my thinking.
The bottomline is this - software engineers are slaves - slaves of the machine they spend three-quarters of their life with, and slaves of the mammoth companies which have made their fortunes on these poor engineers' plights. While it may be true that they have indirectly made everybody's lives better, they are also indirectly responsible for a large number of worries that we have today. Where would viruses, spam and hackers be if not for the advances made in the industry? O privacy, where art thou? However, I seem to be digressing here. I cannot understand how one can isolate oneself from all human interaction and yet be alive enough to carry on with life. A computer is an excellent means of communication and a toy par excellence, but is it the centre of life, the centre of existence? I have to take a leaf out of a book on jurisprudence and draw the classic difference between what ought to be and what is. In this case, hundreds of thousands of thousands of people (and many of my friends) ought not to be doing what they are doing.
Looking at it as a lawyer, I find the software engineers downright daft and as ignorant of their rights as the flood-hit, drought-hit, starvation-hit tribals from interior Orissa. The argument advanced by the engineers and the aforementioned tribals are shockingly similar - as long as we have enough to live, who gives a damn about rights? When one spends four years (and a little more, because of the stint at the ivy league Univ) in strenuous academix pursuit, does one divorce oneself from all common sense entirely? As a defence, software engineers may say that they are as much GIGO ("garbage in, garbage out") as their pet machines; hence the lack of common sense, but as a counter, I say that you don't send the computers to college, do you? These poor souls are the victims of the latest form of slavery. I have received information from reliable sources that there exists not one trade union in the entire software industry, that not a single software "professional" knows the meaning of collective bargaining. The Government websites glorify the fact that the IT industry has been spared from the ambit of a large number of labour laws. Capitalism may be the emerging world order, but we must remember that those bearing the brunt of capitalistic colonialism are also human beings having equal rights to those on the cushy end of the stick. According to me, the fault is not entirely that of capitalism, nor can it be blamed on an overenthusiastic and greedy Government. The engineers themselves have a large role to play. Can I hear someone saying, "Software professionals and zombies of the world unite!"?......
The bottomline is this - software engineers are slaves - slaves of the machine they spend three-quarters of their life with, and slaves of the mammoth companies which have made their fortunes on these poor engineers' plights. While it may be true that they have indirectly made everybody's lives better, they are also indirectly responsible for a large number of worries that we have today. Where would viruses, spam and hackers be if not for the advances made in the industry? O privacy, where art thou? However, I seem to be digressing here. I cannot understand how one can isolate oneself from all human interaction and yet be alive enough to carry on with life. A computer is an excellent means of communication and a toy par excellence, but is it the centre of life, the centre of existence? I have to take a leaf out of a book on jurisprudence and draw the classic difference between what ought to be and what is. In this case, hundreds of thousands of thousands of people (and many of my friends) ought not to be doing what they are doing.
Looking at it as a lawyer, I find the software engineers downright daft and as ignorant of their rights as the flood-hit, drought-hit, starvation-hit tribals from interior Orissa. The argument advanced by the engineers and the aforementioned tribals are shockingly similar - as long as we have enough to live, who gives a damn about rights? When one spends four years (and a little more, because of the stint at the ivy league Univ) in strenuous academix pursuit, does one divorce oneself from all common sense entirely? As a defence, software engineers may say that they are as much GIGO ("garbage in, garbage out") as their pet machines; hence the lack of common sense, but as a counter, I say that you don't send the computers to college, do you? These poor souls are the victims of the latest form of slavery. I have received information from reliable sources that there exists not one trade union in the entire software industry, that not a single software "professional" knows the meaning of collective bargaining. The Government websites glorify the fact that the IT industry has been spared from the ambit of a large number of labour laws. Capitalism may be the emerging world order, but we must remember that those bearing the brunt of capitalistic colonialism are also human beings having equal rights to those on the cushy end of the stick. According to me, the fault is not entirely that of capitalism, nor can it be blamed on an overenthusiastic and greedy Government. The engineers themselves have a large role to play. Can I hear someone saying, "Software professionals and zombies of the world unite!"?......
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